The Kindness Change is delighted to interview Surbhi who is the Associate Director for HR Technology & Transformation at Unilever, a global consumer goods company.

Outside of work, Surbhi serves on the Leadership Council for the HOW Institute for Society and coaches professionals in the NXT-GEN Fellowship for Moral Leadership, which she completed in 2018. Surbhi also serves as the Spokesperson & Communications Director for Carolina Cares, a non-profit dedicated to improving the lives of people facing food insecurity in her community.

3 things about Surbhi

• For the first 20 years of my life I moved over 10 times across 3 countries and various US states. It was a real-life course in navigating non-stop change.
• I have always felt strongly about giving back to the community, and the cause I care about most is ensuring all children have access to safety, food, and a good education.
• “Don’t be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution” is a phrase my mother used constantly when I was growing up. It is now an ethos I live by finding workarounds and alternatives when facing obstacles.

Can you share a  “kindness moment or memory”  that left a positive impression on you?

I recall one day my dotted-line manager was in a meeting with me while I was presenting my work to a room of very senior IT stakeholders, who tend to have hard stops in meetings. The presentation and conversation went a little long, so I didn’t get to my last couple of slides as we got to the last few minutes of our time together. 

As a facilitator, my manager asked me, “Is there anything you’d like to cover to close the meeting?” and, with 2 minutes to go in the meeting, I started to rush through my final points. As we were walking back to our desks after the meeting, she asked me, “May I provide you with some feedback?” and I responded, “Of course!”. She went on to advise me that the last 2 minutes would have been better used informing them that I would share the final points via email, setting expectations on what comes next, and thanking them for their time so that they are left with a strong impression and we are respectful of their time. It was such an “aha” for me in my approach with senior leaders. 

That said, the big learning for me wasn’t her advice, it was the kindness with which she gave it. She was kind in asking if I was emotionally open to feedback at that moment. She was kind in giving me feedback as soon as possible after the incident so it resonated strongly. She was even kind in imparting me that wisdom to help me grow as a professional because many leaders would have simply let it go. Sure, I was a bit taken aback because I thought I had done a great job, but I am so appreciative that she showed me that kindness. She’s now a treasured mentor in my network. 

Do you think it is possible to be kind and firm in the workplace?

Absolutely! Kindness and firmness are not mutually exclusive. I think they go hand in hand with effective leadership. To me, leading with kindness and humility means acknowledging when others have better ideas, trusting their expertise, and creating an environment where people feel valued and empowered. I have never had to sacrifice kindness in my leadership approach, but I have had to set aside my ego and recognize that I don’t always have the best answer. In my experience, kindness and firmness together build trust, foster collaboration, and drive meaningful results.

How have you managed to build strong connections and community at work, if yes, how have you done this?

Authenticity and transparency. I have always struggled to be anything but myself, which is a bubbly, inquisitive, and straightforward person. This means that if I have a question, I ask it; if I am feeling some type of emotion, I will express it; and sometimes I will use multiple exclamation points in an email! What I’ve noticed is that my colleagues, whether they are junior or senior to me, do not expect me to be perfect when a question or challenge comes up. 

They appreciate brainstorming ideas with me because I am comfortable expressing my thoughts and questions. They feel confident assigning me a task because they know I will speak up if something is going wrong or if I need support.

My go-to “technique” is to kick off a meeting by making it clear that I do not have the right answer, and that I suspect no one else in the room does, but that I hope that together we’ll work towards finding it. By being authentic, I think I help create a safe space that allows others to be their authentic selves with me as well. 

What is a leadership quality that you admire in others?

Servant Leadership. In my opinion, the strongest leaders can keep their own biases aside to trust and empower the experts in their team. Servant Leaders also act as a shield from some degree of office politics and pressure, and a support system when escalations or obstacles arise. In this way, leaders can become an enabling force rather than an authoritarian force.  I’ve also noticed that this approach improves the speed of execution, and who doesn’t love that?

Thank you Surbhi.

One life, lead with kindness.

xx