Antoinette Raymond, PhD, is a behavioural scientist, organisational psychologist, and executive advisor. As Founder of Saker Lynd & Co, she brings sharp psychological insight to strategy, aligning behaviours, cultures, and commercial practices to drive outcomes that stick. With three decades of experience across industries and continents, her approach is unapologetically people-centric and commercially grounded. Antoinette is known for her direct, energising presence and her signature Tits Up & What’s Your Point? (the book she’s writing!) ethos — which is a call to stand tall, sharpen focus, and lead with clarity, confidence, and swagger. To find out more about Antoinette’s work, visit her website.

In this interview, she explores the transformative power of kindness in business — when it’s applied with care, intention, and skill.

What makes kindness the most underrated business strategy, in your opinion?

Business strategy is underpinned by people – the people who lead and the people who follow. And the key with leading people – especially during times of change and transformation –  is shifting their mindsets in order to change behaviours that propel and sustain a business strategy. 

“Kindness is not a moral accessory – it’s a strategic lever”

A personal example of this came at a time when I was expected to provide a series of very expensive and highly attended workshops for a global company. The dates had been set a year in advance, as they included huge numbers of folks, many of whom were executives. Because of very personal reasons (I was in the middle of intensive infertility issues/procedures), I had to cancel the sessions, and in hope to reschedule. The executive client was understandably upset and angry.  And wouldn’t take a call from me and simply cancelled the work.

I didn’t feel compelled to share my very personal reasons, but I professionally needed to ensure they understood that this was not just a nonchalant change, but one that was incredibly difficult to make. Because their EA was understanding and knew how important it was that I at least get a call in to her boss, she gave me her mobile number. I caught them as they were walking to their car, and I was given 5 minutes before they started the car to talk. I shared my reasons… and then there was silence.  The client then collected their thoughts and shared with me that her three children were here because of infertility treatments, understood exactly where I was in my journey, and showed immense kindness by saying, “We will make this work.”  They also said they had heard that this was the first ‘negative’ she’d ever heard about our work and that she understood that what we did was valuable. That act of kindness caused me to stay with the organization, supporting them for another 10 years.

What are the barriers to using kindness in business?

Misguided beliefs that kindness is a sign of weakness. Confusing kindness with a lack of business savvy. Assuming the opposite of kindness (being harsh and brutal) begets buy-in (e.g., I need to be tough for you to buy into my strategy and to be seen as strong and worthy of being followed).

“Believing you have to be tough to get things done.  Particularly in hard times… It’s believed you can’t afford to be kind.) I think that’s bullshit.  That’s when you need it most. Under pressure and stress, the bandwidth for kindness shrinks. Only results are often rewarded.  Kindness is not often lauded.  The manner in which you got the results is often overlooked”

Do you think that discipline and focus have anything to do with kindness in your line of work? 

Absolutely.  It takes discipline and focus – to be kind.  To consistently and authentically show consideration, compassion, and a caring for people. It’s too easy to fall under the auspice of ‘do as I say, since I’m in charge.’  That’s weak.  That’s lazy.  And, more importantly, it’s ineffective. It’s easier  / quicker to instruct.  It takes patience to truly help others learn.  So that they, too, can lead.

A business leader recently claimed that kindness has no place in business, while respect is essential. How do you view this distinction?

Respect is critical.  Respect is showing appreciation and value for someone.  Kindness is the conduit through which to show respect. If we focused specifically on this point, the businessman meant that we don’t have to like someone or consider them as “ work family” as some do – we don’t have to like the person we work with (this is where the practice of respect vs kindness matters)… What are your thoughts? Is it true that you can respect someone, and yet not show them kindness? 

Yes. Is it true that you can show someone kindness and yet not respect them?  Yes. But as a leader in business, your main goals are establishing a compelling vision, fostering team development and collaboration, building strong relationships, driving change and innovation, and ensuring accountability and high performance. Can you do this better with kindness in your repertoire?  Yes. Respect is earned through a person’s character and actions, while kindness is a freely given emotional warmth and compassion towards others.

Respect involves esteem, admiration, and treating others as valuable individuals, even if opinions differ, whereas kindness is a generous, good-hearted act that shows care and positivity. While both are essential for positive relationships, kindness is often seen as an expression of respect, but yes, respect can exist without kindness. However, I truly believe kindness precedes respect. But if a leader has a style that doesn’t include kindness, then that’s a style issue. But let’s add in the factor of psychological safety – and if we believe that psychological safety drives performance in an organization, which studies have proven to be true… and psychological safety includes the following parameters:

• People feel secure enough to speak up, ask questions, admit mistakes, and challenge ideas without fear of negative consequences like humiliation or punishment. 
• Key factors include a culture of trust and respect, open communication, proactive leadership, inclusivity, valuing diverse perspectives, constructive conflict resolution, and learning from mistakes. 
• Organizations also promote psychological safety by setting clear expectations, being consistent, and actively managing responses to difficult questions or feedback.  

Do I think kindness plays into these parameters?  Yes – not directly regarding the WHAT is done… but the HOW things are done.  The positive culture that kindness brings aids and helps drive the achievement of the above.

Kindness and well-being: In what ways have you seen effective leaders maintain their health and well-being while sustaining a strong work ethic?

Ha.  That’s tough. One thing I know… is that with age comes the realisation that work is NOT everything.  When I’m tired, often kindness is the first thing to slip. In many ways, sustaining well-being is an act of kindness – to oneself, to one’s team, and to the business.

“Leadership who don’t understand that ‘burning out’ – whether that’s yourself or your team – just to achieve at all costs – does no one any good.  Not themselves.  Not their people.  Not the business. Being intentional regarding well-being is critical”

As simple as micro-rituals of well-being (e.g., short walks between meetings, to three deep breaths before joining a call, taking 3 minutes for everyone to finish whatever they’re doing before starting the meeting, etc.) I’ve seen great leaders role-model a good pace:  They send emails during real work hours, they take their leave, they show up for their family events, they have doctor’s appointments, etc.  This legitimises well-being in the culture – and gives the team permission to protect their health, too.  And they still produce and achieve.

Were you always a kind leader? And is this a trait other leaders can build into their leadership?

I’d like to think I was – but truly, I think I became kinder as I aged and had more life experiences.  My culture, my being the eldest daughter in a very matriarchal family, and my being a first-generation person – all helped me be a respectful, conscientious, and outcomes-oriented leader.  But kindness – often perceived as evident, through my respectful ways – came more readily and authentically as I became more aware of the complexity of situations and people. 

“Knowing more.  Going through more – good and bad times.  Experiencing a variety of people and cultures.  Having children.   All these helped me be more empathetic and more kind” 

  Can leaders build this into their leadership?  Absolutely.  At the end of the day, showing kind behaviours – whether they come naturally or are learned and practiced – adds to people’s leadership repertoire. 

“If you believe kindness is not in fact a weakness, but a strength, then as you practice kindness and people respond favorably and positively, that reinforces your kindness behaviours as a leader”

 

Any final thoughts?

This has been a wonderful and enlightening exercise for me.  It’s reaffirmed what I believe in my heart, which is “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!”  In my field of study and work, I am about change and transformation.  And that starts with shifting mindset – to change behaviours. 

“I truly believe that with kindness, you stand a better chance of people listening to you, believing you, and shifting their thinking and buying in.  Now – kindness alone obviously isn’t enough.  You need sound, logical reasoning for people to buy into anything”

But kindness makes it happen that much more easily.  I was at dinner with my 20-year-old the other evening, and her friends were teasing her about how she’s always so nice to the servers at restaurants (asking what their name is, how their day has been, etc.).  And she looked at her friends incredulously and said:  “Hey – they’re serving us food.  They’re doing all the work.  Why wouldn’t I be nice to them?!?  Being nice costs nothing!”  Yes – I was a proud mum at that moment.  But she was right.  Kindness begets kindness.  And you know what?  As a family, we ALWAYS have fun going out to restaurants!!