The Kindness Change is thankful to interview Dr. Jacqueline Olds, a psychiatrist and co-author of three books: Overcoming Loneliness in Everyday Life, Marriage in Motion, and The Lonely American. With isolation and anxiety arguably increasing around the world, Jacqueline’s work on building loving, lasting and long relationships has become ever so needed.

3 things Jacquie is about?

Family, being helpful and being grateful.

Do you have a kindness memory that left a strong impression on you?

My father was always at the airport patiently waiting for me even when the weather or traffic situation would have made anyone opt for a taxi. He made sure he always had the bills paid for every drop of my education through medical school even though it was a big expense for our family. And he played games with me when I asked and seemed to enjoy them (i.e. scrabble, cards, etc)

Has kindness transformed your life in any way?

I have many extraordinarily kind friends and acquaintances…who have taught me much about how to be reliably kind and thoughtful. I think back to my younger self and feel embarassed that I hadn’t discovered kindness as the main way to be. Instead, I was an interesting gadfly who prided herself on the ability to argue points and keep people off balance. I now find that young self both arrogant and ignorant.

What are your views on boundaries and kindness?

As a psychiatrist, I do keep certain clear boundaries. But within those boundaries I try to be as helpful as possible. If someone needs something that I know something about, I am quick to volunteer the information that will make it possible for the person to make their next step. As a child and adult psychiatrist, I know that people need all sorts of information and suggestions to get their own creativity going, so I try to “prime the pump” so to speak.

Can kindness build and strengthen relationships, if so why?

I think kindness almost always strengthens relationships. It is the attitude that we all crave from one another. We rarely forget someone who is reliably kind to us. And kindness is the currency of love so it is, of course, unforgettable.

Thank you Jacqueline.

One life live it kinder.

Charlotte x